Nice work in terms of composition, but..
The composition itself (the arrangement of notes: melody and harmony), is great and I can feel the emotion brought through it. However the quality of the sound isn't. I'm not sure of what software you are using to make the song, but sounds need effects such as reverb, or chorus to help the sound shine. It sounds very MIDI like to my ear, and I think that the software maybe just some soundcard based MIDI sequencer, if not, just try adding orchestral strings to layer it with some ambience.
I do however, like where the notes go quicker, it sounds nice :)